Your Life . . . with Diana Wood: The value we place on ourselves is the value others will place on us
Published in the November 23- December 6, 2016 issue of Morgan Hill Life
By Diana Wood
It takes my breath away every time. I see the potential of the world dancing in the sparkle of my 14-year-old daughter Serena’s captivating green-hazel eyes and my 13-year-old daughter Makenzee’s stunning blue-grey eyes.
Their lives and their futures, just like yours and mine, are precious. They sing loudly throughout the house, they dance the latest moves like no one’s watching when they are doing the dishes in the kitchen and they roll their eyes begging me to stop when I try to join them. Family is everything.
Take a moment with me and think about your daughter, son, grandchildren, or someone dear to your heart. Think about how much you love them. Think about how you would do anything — anything at all — from the depths of your heart to help them conquer the world.
Do you have that person in mind? Good. Now, tell me, what would your response be if you walked into a room and saw that someone had your loved one pushed into the corner and was yelling at them saying: “What in the world is your problem?” “You are so dumb. . .no, you’re not dumb. . . you’re dumb and stupid,” “Why can’t you do anything right?” “Ugh, look at you, you’re fat, you’re ugly.” “You know why you and your family have money problems? Because you’re a loser.”
“You will never be good enough.”
Just the typing of these words makes me cringe.
I don’t know about you, but if I walked in and found someone bullying my daughters, the mama bear inside me would come out.
Quite frankly, the bottom line is that I would absolutely never under any circumstances allow anyone to talk to my babies that way. My guess is that you too would refuse to let such things be said to your precious family members.
So here’s my question to you: “If you wouldn’t allow anyone to talk to your precious family members in this way. . .then why would you talk to yourself this way?”
I just recently led a five-week group study session on John Maxwell’s book, “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth.” Law 3 is the Law of the Mirror – You Must See Value in Yourself to Add Value to Yourself. Do you see value in yourself? Did you know that people will never place more value on you than you place on yourself?
Our behaviors are shaped by our beliefs, and, unfortunately, the natural state of belief for so many people is that of self-limiting beliefs, bullying beliefs. I challenge you to hold up your self talk to the mirror and shut down the inner-bully and shape in your mind the belief statements that you would want showered upon your daughters, sons, grandchildren and loved ones.
Remember: the value we place on ourselves is the value others will place on us.
Morgan Hill resident Diana Wood is the president and CEO of Wood Motivation, a certified independent John Maxwell Team coach, speaker and trainer. She can be reached at Diana@woodmotivation.com.